I spent my childhood pretty chunky. I remember constantly waking up in the night with what I was told were only growing pains. There were doctor visits that resulted in being told I was going through a growth spurt. Being 5'7 in the sixth grade made me wonder how much more growing I could be doing! By the end of sixth grade I weighed 160 lbs.
The summer after sixth grade I was determined to be thin. I didn't like standing out, and I had always been quite nerdy. I was down to eating one real meal a day, a habit I kept up for years. I would have a salad after school and then eat dinner with my family. I ended up getting down to about 115 lbs by eighth grade. Around this time is when I started the dr's visits for my headaches. I would get them constantly, was told I had chronic tension headaches. I was put on medication after medication to try to fix them. At best some of them made me sleep all day. At the worst it made me the moodiest, meanest person and I would gain weight. I was put on anti depressants, anti anxiety, anti seizure, just trying to find something that made me function. I had migraine meds for when they got really bad, at times I had to call my parents to pick me up from school with how bad they were. Eventually, after all the MRI's and CAT scans, I was told it was all in my head and that I needed to learn to manage the pain through my THOUGHTS.
All through high school I was in marching band, show choir, and drama, as well as various other activities. I was very active, however I was still gaining weight, albeit fairly slowly. I started to develop sleeping issues, and anxiety. At times I would have to sit out of whatever activity I was in due to pain in my hips, ankles, and knees.I gave up going to the doctor and the prescriptions, because I hated being told I was making all of this up. I lived on acetominophen and ibuprofen. I shudder to think of the damage I did to my body with these chemicals, but it was all I could do at this point.
In 2006 I started college. I weighed 135 and lived in the dorms. I remained active walking literally everywhere I went and still participating in marching band, but by the end of my freshman year I was at 160 and lucky if I got a five hour night sleep a week. I kept active, working at a police department walking the campus thirty hours a week. I started to run and roller blade. I ate as healthy as I could manage. I managed to maintain my weight around 160 until a month before I got married in 2009.
In May of 2009 I started birth control in preperation for my upcoming marriage. In one month I gained twenty pounds and the only change was the birth control. My mother had to literally sew me into my wedding dress on my wedding day. I was frustrated and depressed.
A month later I went to the doctor with a list of physical issues my mom and I had in common. The doctor took one look at the list and declared me as having "fibromyalgia" just like my mom. This devastated me. I grew up with my mom sick, and on anti depressants, and not very active. She has struggled with weight issues as long as I've been alive, and was recently diagnosed with type II diabetes. I was put on ambien to help me get to sleep, and as I had already tried almost all the medications available as a teenager, I was told to just deal with it on my own. I was 21 and terrified. My new husband would take me to the ER to get pain meds when my shoulders would seize up. I spent nights crying because my hips and back hurt so bad. My wedding night was spent with me curled up crying because my hips and knees hurt too bad to sleep. I felt like I had just been sentenced to half a life, and my poor husband was cursed with me as well.
The next eight months my husband was deployed and I spent it very inactively. I would go to college, come home and lie on the couch or in bed, I wasn't sleeping, wasn't exercising, and continued gaining weight. I finally reached a plateau when I came off birth control, but I wasn't healthy. I spent the next two years this way.
In 2012 I started doing my own research. I already ate pretty healthy, and I tried the exercise thing, and at 230 lbs I was desperate. My husband had been talking about this new "fad diet" some of the guys at work tried called "paleo" it sounded drastic, no processed foods whatsoever, no sugar, no beans, no grains, no dairy. I live on pasta and cheese and such!!! We found a cookbook in Barnes and Noble one day called Everyday Paleo In it were meal plans and shopping lists for up to a month! Sam and I decided to try it. For a month and a half we stuck to it exactly. We loved it! I felt better than I had in years! I lost forty lbs in that time, I no longer had sugar cravings, my cycle was back. It was a miracle! But it was hard. the meals took hours to prepare a week, and with only two of us a lot of the food was going to waste because it was meant for a family, not a couple. Also, this much food for the amount that was going to waste was an obscene grocery bill. We couldn't stick with it, so Sam and I went back to our regular eating.
It's been almost seven months since then. I've gained a good amount of weight back. My shoulders have started seizing up. As I sit here my hips ache like they have for days. I'm not sleeping, I am not having my momnthly cycle. I feel like crap and my hair is starting to thin.Something has to be done.
I've been doing a lot of research. I've got some changes in mind, but that's going to be left for another post.
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